T.E.R.D. Kit

Description

The T.E.R.D. (Tactical Everything Required for Dumping) kit from Advanced Outfitters is designed to contain and organize the necessary items required for dumping when a modern porcelain convenience is not available. This kit has practical applications for Search and Rescue personnel, hunters, hikers, and campers.

It’s been described as everything from a gag gift to the most serious piece of kit. Regardless of whether you’re on either end of that spectrum or somewhere in between this kit.

Be it on the hunt, on the trail, or in less enjoyable environments, the T.E.R.D. kit is a welcome companion when nature calls and that most basic function must be performed in the field.

Each kit includes a 8.5″ x 5.5″ heavy nylon pouch with universal attachment loop, primary and secondary zippered compartments, and titanium Tactical Cat Hole Digging Implement accessible via an external quick access slot. We’ll include tissue, hypoallergenic wipes, and hand sanitizer so you’ll be stocked and ready for your first dumping operation.

Due to the turd brown color of the case, use caution so it doesn’t become entangled in unsanitary locations.

Rather entertaining operating instructions are included with each kit (see below).

T.E.R.D. Kit Operating Instructions

Usage

The T.E.R.D. (Tactical Everything Required for Dumping) Kit is designed to contain and organize all necessary items required for the 21st century combat dumper. This kit has practical applications for Search and Rescue or Law Enforcement personnel, and civilian defecators as well.

Warning 

Do not fill with Mr. T type TP (Tissue Paper). It may be rough and tough, but it won’t take crap off nobody.

Do not use T.E.R.D. kit in crowded, public spaces. It is intended to be used in private or wilderness settings only.

Do not place previously deployed and utilized TP back into the T.E.R.D. kit. Should operational needs require the non-scuttling of expended TP, place it somewhere else.

Do not use the Tactical Cat Hole Digging Implement supplied to cover back over a filled cat hole, use a stick or something.

Do not attach the T.E.R.D. kit via universal attachment loop to anything that may leave your AO (Area of Operations) while you are engaged in combat dump operations, i.e. dog, vehicle, friend, enemy, etc.

Steps for Use:

1. Remove Tactical Cat Hole Digging Implement from external quick access slot.
2. Dig hole large enough to contain expected volume of excrement.
3. Drop pants (very important).
4. Dump.
5. Open primary compartment and remove TP from zip-lock type liner bag.
6. Measure and separate appropriate length of TP from roll for task.
7. Wipe your ass.
8. Repeat steps 6 and 7 until predetermined personal hygiene level is achieved.
9. Open secondary compartment and remove tactical wet towelette.
10. Repeat step 7.
11. Reassemble the T.E.R.D. kit before stowing so as to maintain a constant high dump preparedness status.